My Ex

I can’t live the rest of my life thinking that everyone else will treat me like my ex did. I will keep on this journey to finding love. What I want is to love life and the people that I meet. First and foremost I will love myself, and hope that if you are going threw a bad break up that at the end you will learn to love yourself again. Real love is out there.

We all have secrets skeletons in our closet and that is not a bad thing. The bad relationships that we have is just a test run to what is waiting for you in the future.

My first love left me cold and very defensive. A man would give me a compliment and all I would think is that he wanted to sleep with me. I based all men on the one that hurt me to my core. That feeling is sharing space in my head like nightmares waiting to take over my soul.

I was very young when I met my first love. He was my everything, but I wasn’t his. Everyone thought that I was so lucky to have a boyfriend that was popular and very good looking. that love should never be demeaning or hurtful or abusive.

I have been beaten, cussed out, and even raped by the first love of my life. This went on for two years. The only way I could get rid of him was when he thought that he had actually killed me.

He had beat me so bad one day that he left me for dead. God saved me that day and I am so thankful to him. I had my face cut with a knife, and he strangled me in one inch of my life. He took my light.

After getting counseling I learned that it was not my fault, and that some one would love me and treat me like a queen. I would like to say I’m sorry to all the men that tried to talk to me.

With time I have learned to love again threw the grace of God. We all have a past, good, bad, or indifferent. Don’t let that stop you from love, trust me it gets better with time.